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Reflective selfworth

I reflected upon a private message one of my son’s received from a so-called friend.

Now said son suffers from anxiety, is the sweetest heart in my world, stained but never takes on the language or behavior of his environment. Seems somewhat protected in this regard. He tends to get angry of late and is very sensitive. He guards his privacy, the privacy of  anxiety.

He tends to seek counsel for those whom he regards as confidants. Here I’m delving into a landscape he would give me no permission to but I feel summoned to do so as a matter of urgency. You see his worries become my worries and that’s very personal, his labelled by some as a mommy’s boy and maybe he is, though not in the normal sense of the word. He dotes on me, is extremely supportive, very helpful but doesn’t seek my face at all times above his mates, love or space – he can function independently as I’ve raised him so and knows I’ll NEVER interfere in any relationship or such. He knows I respect his journey as a young man.

I was taken aback tonight, by said message and felt it imperative to translate my feelings as I feel he was done a disservice as a human being.

NB: Anton, my late husband and son’s father passed away some 18 years ago and he was a respected man, very humorous, gentle, upstanding, disciplined, loved being a Dad. Now he never used foul language, I on the other hand tend to swear at times, though not those scary raw so called coloured ones that we hear so often as part of the vocabulary but can’t use ourselves as I find it disgusting, but I do use the f-gear word and such. I don’t judge here, I just hate hearing it from especially women who pretend to be better than others but during an argument or when drunk partake in the m…s…p and jou n…. as well as those in what we call our poorer areas who breathe the above without blinking,etc

So getting back to the message: if you can’t handle my foul m…s….p…. language, stay outta the kitchen. You disgusting pig is my answer! I’m glad my son retorted Simply that he doesn’t swear as he feels a love in respecting all mankind, though we may differ in gender, creed, orientation, belief, etc. My son I am proud to be your mother, I’ll not write about the trials you’ve experienced in the past year, the loneliness, the disloyalty, the disappointments, the hurt…. I will say never go back and befriend this person or persons again, for the world we live in is despicable, evil, compromising, disrespectful, immoral and bereft of compassion and that a Muslim friend could speak to you this way, speaks volumes of how easy it is to bow down and Salah, offering duas that bekon the Almighty’s grace , love and forgiveness and in the next minute find satisfaction in swearing so foul just because he doesn’t like talking to you everyday. I love Islam and respect it. I love Catholicism and respect it. I love human beings and respect them. I love the law and defend it always. I roar when anyone is slighted, as I roar now in closing this ” Woman’s Month” with the aching that I remember in giving birth to you my son, in pain, in love, in hope that you would be alive in the image of God for as long as the Almighty deems fit. Thank you for bringing a sense of hope that our world still has a conscience.

My love always to my son’s Joshua, Adrian, Elijah

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