Disobey

This term has had a very bold significance in our home of late….

Here we know exactly what is missing, what is wrong, what is and what isn’t….

How we choose is the obvious answer to all our issues.

We can remain calm and yet we choose hysteria. We shout when we could very well improve the gentleness of our action.  We wear blinkers to hide the shame.

As most of you know we run our little home business, serving meals, baking cake, etc. We have witnessed our journey. And are delighted with the skills we have learnt along the way. 

As we crawled, as we walked, as we eventually and courageously plunged ourselves into more complex waters, it revealed something about myself. My folks always say I take on anything  just to prove a point and they are so right….

My business is thriving in terms of reaching many more, thousands more through my posts, these beckon attention and turn into real sales…..

How much has it however influenced our thinking, our strategy, our heart?  It has torn a rift in our private relationships, where we no longer enjoy each others company. Its so strained here that emotions grip you tightly each day and tasks become difficult to complete when scheduled. My almost 4 yr old needs stimulation and attention often missing. My grandson now 8 months old and teething is restless and arm-dependant. My daughter is finding motherhood somewhat frustrating at times. We’ve been doing a lot of finishing rather late, making scheduled delivery times later than expected.. This begs the question: are we enough to get to where we want to be? 

I haven’t answered this question yet, I’m unable to as I sway between our capabilities vs time management whilst taking cognisance of the underlying issues which make life a bit strained at the moment. What I do know is that our issues are a grain of sand in comparison to what other children, women, men, families are experiencing… For I myself have changed in this journey, I am no longer as gentle as I used to be, I no longer have patience with the lack of rhythm, my enjoyment is 1000% still but my attitude it is too stern…. 

Do we disobey the rules, should we refrain from change, do we live this facade in a stupor to hide the truth that we negotiate the value we place on integrity, honesty, morals, pleasure, happiness and the truth? 

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