In a Shadow 


Winter has been very cold. The warmth has come from my kitchen. This house has no heat, except what I extract from it, or rather what I put into it. 

The shimmer was lost on me, I don’t doll myself up. I don’t wear make up. I live in my work uniform. Usually I would shine on a Sunday, but I don’t anymore, its wasted on my partner, who prefers to tell me how he’d like me to look, as opposed to loving every part of me including my lovely leather apron he bought Me…

It has a way of creating a chasm in our home. It reminds him I aim to make my kitchen a centrepiece of our lives. My kitchen is after all my stage and I am its Diva. I love cooking and baking and it irks him that I have a space he cannot compete with. He can’t, it brings me so much joy, he can’t ever win.. Sadly he compensates with shimmering flow, i don’t partake as I made a choice long ago I would not be her. I won’t sacrifice my spirit for meaningless banter over a shot of something. Sorry but banter is supposed to be light, airy, free, bright & happy. Not nitpick, insult, groan, envy & contemptuous. 

I wash my hair, he says it looks better when its dirty. I wear a dress he looks, then walks away without a word. It struck me tonight after he spent hours outside drinking in his car, that you can’t compete with the shimmer of a drink. Illusion is perception in its shadow. He trots in and expects attention I halfheartedly give, if only to keep him away from our 3 year old who doesn’t deal well with intoxication. 

This beautiful sibling of our 4 other children, the youngest, is bold like me. He doesn’t back down and cower in the face of a adversity. He is stubborn, bright & lives everyday to the fullest. He does have vices- he uses foul language, is demanding, busy, craves attention….

This Sunday like all the others is just an end to a cycle we rewind every week and redo again. ” I’m sorry, I have stress, I don’t like crying, I need to get somewhere, I don’t understand, I don’t want to be here, I can’t watch a movie if you people talk, I want what I want now, I don’t care- a man is a man, I told you not to do that, I will change if you stop nagging….

Shimmer until you illuminate this space and ignite with flame your dreams, don’t despair, your candle has a wick that can burn as long as you keep it lit. 
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August “Women’s Month”


No matter the shape, the bristles go about their work vigorously brushing away all the debris. 

Our teeth, tongue, gums all get a once-over. Yes the toothpaste, salt or bicarb bubble up & cleanse, providing the active ingredient necessary to facilitate this harmonious, sometimes aggressive activity to clean, freshen your breath, eradicate bacteria, so you may go about your business. Sometimes your toothbrush is a stick or such if this modern tooth is inaccessible.

This toothbrush has many uses, gets into crevices, tiles, washing machines, drawers, etc. making the longevity of this tool quite a handy hack. 

Much like a woman. She has many uses!!!! OK. Maybe uses is the wrong term. She is versatile, adaptable, jack of all trades, nurse, mother, partner, wife, punching bag– always on the wrong side of right, protects, cloak’s, a fortress against injustice, friend, sponge– she absorbs many feelings, takes a lot of flack, mops up our mess, inflates our ego’s, wipes away our tears, enfolds us in our pain or grief. Cook, nanny, lover, goddess, the list is endless.

I don’t want to be compared to a toothbrush, but… I quite find the tenacity in context very appealing in terms of strength, courage,  reach….

One of my all time favourite singers, the late Whitney Houston was born in August. 

I get emotional as we reach August month….

Women mean a great deal to me, I think it has alot to do with my Da’, he’s mother, grandmother, aunties, wife- my mother, daughters, etc. Women always bring out his heart, he cherishes them. I quite like the fact that my charismatic father loves women & their plight. 

He doesn’t worm his way, he truly adores them, respects & honours them, even the ones who disrespect him. He has a strength, a warmth, a complete understanding, though he does fret at times when my mom is stressed or such. We are 3 sisters & 1 brother & I am happy we are who we are, with many thanks to our Da’. 

I just wish I could get the money we need & the hands we need to fix his car. He’s a pensioner, who together with my mom, takes care of my two older son’s, they lost their dad 15 yes ago. 

I envision winning the lotto & sorting everything out for him & my mother. 

They go out of their way for me, encourage, guide, motivate, correct….

This month of August I want to make a difference in the lives of other women. Perhaps I should make a difference in my own…..

We launch the “Give Women a Break Campaign”. Humbly put it is just a gesture of goodwill towards struggling women, who maybe with one 3 course meal as a gift will be able to enjoy the company of her immediate family without having to worry about how she’s going to put that meal on the table… It’s success lies in the hands of other women who will hopefully purchase one of our meal or savouries combos & be willing without prejudice to nominate a women in need… 

  I must admit, I do worry, for many women visit our page but are yet to purchase any of our fare…

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​​The heart of the home is the kitchen!

Family’s wounds are meant to heal around the hearth, bonds strengthened, bridges built, tummies filled, with frowns evolving into laughter, little ones screaming with cries of excitement. No matter you have the aged wooden spoon, the electric beater or the whisk. Your meal & its outcome lies purely in your genius to not be anxious but rather sassy & focused, in tune with your eyes & your hands…

I have always loved being a Diva-licious cook. Food binds people and moments. These moments create memories that touch all of our senses. For me that’s what memories with my loves ones are made of…
This is an Ode to some of the best cooks I have known. Evelyn van Schoor. Allan Davis. Noreen Jethro. Amos van Schoor (Snr). Doreen Palm van Schoor. Estelle Davis. May they be shaking up the kitchen, rustling their pots in heaven… RIP. Until we meet again…
Please will you take the time to understand what this means to us.

We love sharing our journey with you, you of course are free to ignore my posts. This open diary isn’t a shallow ploy for attention. It runs deep when I can meet up with you outside my walls. Here is a prison of wants & needs. Mine: I want this family to reach further than satisfaction, they need to want more from our existance than just waking, eating, sighing, contemplating. They need to reach higher or deeper into their pockets of worth & expel fresh ideas, dreams, solutions or just let go of what isn’t there & create something new, not out of boredom, out of living.

Don’t waste precious time on situations or people who don’t want to be there, experiencing the warmth, the vibe, the growth we all made & haven’t noticed.

Aspire to be free. To grow

To laugh

To cry

To satisfaction

To love

To feel

To  recognition

To forgive

To be honoured

To be respected

To be left alone & not chastised for being you!!!!

Surely not a big ask? Shallow shouldn’t run through my veins. 

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“A chaotic situation isn’t always about the negative.”

 There are two sides to a story. As there are desirous outcomes regardless of the effects of certain occurances

Our minds can operate in certain chaotic situations, without suffering long-term effects.

 Having said that: the mind is a beautiful tool. It can make or break a person’s confidence when it is consistently fed through specific tactics. The tactic can be helpful. The tactic can be detrimental to how the person then perceives certain norms. And how they react to it.

When you live in places like Sudan, Gaza, Syria,  Rwanda, the list goes on….Here there is a constant chaos through war, the effects of war, the perpetrators of war, the victims of war, then the consequences of war like poverty, disease, rape, trauma, displacement. There are then multiple implications of this chaotic situation which will have some lasting effects on the lives of its people.

 Many of us watch news broadcasts and either feel moved by the situation in a way which then compels us to feel compassion or sympathy. Hidden between the lines are those who see the exact opposite and feel compelled to want oppression, want the sadistic suffering to continue as it is a necessary evil to ensure the cementing of power, wealth and standing.

 In the middle of all of this are those who get up and help. Rich or poor it doesn’t matter, there are those who  buckle up their boots, knuckle down, get their hands dirty in order for some of these effects to be short-lived, stopped, eradicated, so earth may be viable to humans, animals, insects, agriculture, manufacturing, industry, education,therefore  sustaining life and it’s desire to be protected, cultivated and nourished and spared.

The chaotic environment can be found in kitchens, bedrooms, hospitals, churches,  schools, nursing homes, university’s, in the mind, the body or the soul. It can have investors,  who plant positive, philanthropic, selfless or honourable principles or bring prejudiced, greedy or mercenary agenda’s. These will determine the reaction and the outcomes.

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