Crooked thinking


 Jade, my daughter & I have been quite busy over the past couple of weeks. I haven’t written during this pressing time, as there was little room to do so. Tonight after a barrage of abuse from her father, I felt I needed an outlet. Writing usually calms me, I await patiently if it will ease my mind.

Pillage has many meanings and at this time I can only name it badger, vex, taunt, torment!

That has been the environment since the middle of November. We have been blessed to meet new people through our baking & cooking exploits & this has got him riled up. ” the quality & flavour of your food is pathetic.” ” I get scraps & customers get the abundance of love from your food, I get muck”! You are going to stop this stupid hobby & learn to obey me? We never have enough to eat as you waste it on other people. Why can’t they make their own food.

Jealousy comes to mind when he spews his words. For all to hear, he doesn’t care, just so he can keep me underfoot. Or so he thinks. He has a lot of stress & needs to punch the bag! People don’t understand him or don’t respect him or take him for granted. Yes we are those people, we nag through our efforts in the kitchen, making him feel obligated to retaliate visciously with words, he doesn’t physically abuse, not anymore, I think he’s afraid the law will have him for breakfast, as well as my male family

Somewhere inside he is afraid of not having he’s ” domestic family with him. He is a sweet man, as long there are no outside distractions, which sideline our attention & focus on him.

 So pillage is a description for families who cannot breathe life, love, meaning or Appreciation into each other’s space! Family is like a country or company that has leadership to run it, workers to carry out instructions & cleaners to hide the dirt. The dirt could be: anger, mistrust, self-centredness, ego, oppression, fear, jealousy, I could go on, but I’m not going to……

 I think it’s the secrets of our upbringing that decide if we deprive or enrich our family’s lifeblood.

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